HOW TO SEND A BASTARD CALLING CARD
Sending a card is easy. Just follow the instructions at each step along the way.

After you have completed the card, you will be shown a preview. If you do not like your card, you may edit it and then send it, or just cancel the request. The recipient will receive e-mail advising where to find the card.

STEP #1: PICK A PICTURE
Please select a picture from the list below using the little Radio Button selector. You may only pick one picture per card. If you want to see a full size image of a picture, just click on it. You might want to do that before filling in any information on this page, just so you do not risk losing your work after returning from viewing the image.

		The Luck 'O the Irish Bignosebird Once thought limited only to the warmest climes, our ever diligent search teams found this specimen with a pot of gold. Here is the bird. The gold is gone and so is the search team... Wish your friends the best of Irish luck with this prized card. It is said that if you bend over backwards and kiss the screen while this bird is displayed, you too will have everlasting luck. You also will have lip marks on your monitor, which could seriously worry your spouse and/or co-workers.
		The Long Stem Bignosebird Nothing expresses love and affection better than a fresh picked Long Stem Bignosebird. Our's are hand harvested from the garden daily. Let that special person know you care enough to send them only the finest.
		The Feel Better Bignosebird Have a friend or loved one a bit under the weather? Sometimes it just takes a little perspective to perk people up. Let the patient know that they are in much better shape than this former member of our aerobatics team.
		The Birthday Bignosebird Do you know somebody who has a birthday coming up? Our Birthday Bignosebird with hat and cake makes just the perfect gift. Priced right too! Tight for time? No problem. Your gift will arrive in just minutes anyplace on Earth.
		The New Baby BignoseBird Here is the perfect choice for a friend or family member that has recently added to their nest. This museum quality print will surely become their wallpaper image for generations to come.
		The Santa BigNoseBird Why head for the mall this year? Do you have that special somebody that is hard to shop for? You checked your list and are not quite sure where they are on the lump of coal to Rolex watch continuum. Well, this card is just the right virual stocking stuffer. When printed, it makes the ideal tree ornament.
		The Festival of BigNoseBirds Oy veh ist mir! Eight nights of festivities and gift giving. It sort of makes shopping just worse than doing it in dog years. This finely crafted menorah will be cherished by those that receive it. Any idea how hard it was to pose all those birds? *NOT UL certified. Keep away from flame.
		The Holiday Dinner Bignosebird Turkey again? No way! Break from tradition this year and send the Holiday Dinner Bignosebird. Each bird is guaranteed fresh from our farm to your dear friend's screen. Recipes not included.

STEP #2: NAME AND E-MAIL INFORMATION
In the boxes below, please enter both your's and the recipient's name and e-mail addresses.

PLEASE BE CERTAIN OF RECIPIENT'S E-MAIL ADDRESS

Your Name:
Your E-Mail Address:
Recipient's Name:
Recipient's E-Mail Address:

STEP #3: SELECT YOUR TEXT AND BACKGROUND COLORS
Using the two selector pulldowns below, please select your text and background colors. The script will not check to see if you have both colors set the same, so if you want your recipient to be able to read the card, please select two different colors!

TEXT COLOR

BACKGROUND

STEP #4: ENTER YOUR TITLE & MESSAGE
In the box below, please enter your message. Please feel free to use HTML to express yourself!

Card Title
Your Message

STEP #5: SIGN YOUR CARD
Please fill in below, how you would like to sign your card. Examples would be:

SMOOOOOCH!!
Love, Snookums
Best Wishes, Fred
Me!

STEP #6: Pick a Song!
Please make a selection or skip this step for no music.

STEP #7: PROCEED TO PREVIEW OR START OVER
You are now ready to preview your card! To do so, just click on the PREVIEW button below. If you want to clear the form and start all over, select START-OVER. Your card will not be sent until you press the SEND-CARD button on the preview screen.