Reunited mother and
daughter enjoying there time together
By LORI MARTIN
Staff Writer
Together again. it's a refrain Susan
Thompson and her daughter, Betsy, are singing
these days. Ever since they reunited July 10,
after being separated for 32 years.
The last time Thompson saw Betsy Jo, her
daughter was 2 years old. It was the 1960s,
and at that time, Thompson was a I6-year-old
unmarried mother, living at home. Ever since
her daughter was taken away from her, against
her will, Thompson searched for her.
"It was so funny," Thompson said
Saturday morning, of meeting her daughter for
the first time. "I was real apprehensive
at first. I wasn't sure she was going to like
me. But, I guess it's because I'm her mom,
and she's my daughter. It fits like a
glove."
Thompson, who works at Westside Daycare
and attends classes at Coffeyville Community
College, tried various means of finding Betsy
Jo, but had no success until contacting Ohio
Adoptee Searches. Jolin DeHaven, of Ohio
Adoptee Services, was able to locate, within
two weeks, the names of the couple that
adopted Betsy.
DeHaven described, in an email Saturday,
how he located Betsy's adoptive parents.
"Basically, we had to scan public
birth records to establish a new name for
Betsy, then order her birth certificate. In
Ohio (public records) are available to
anyone. (The birth certificate) listed her
adoptive parents' names and where they lived
at the time of the child's adoption."
According to information provided by
DeHaven, people whose adoptions were
finalized from Jan. 1, 1964, through Sept.
17, 1996, "have only one recourse. You
must file a petition with the probate court
where your adoption was granted. They will
forward this request to the State Bureau of
Vital Statistics, who will open and send you
the contents of your adoption envelope only
if a birth parent has also filed a
release."
Complicating DeHaven's search, for
Thompson's daughter Betsy was the fact that
Betsy's adoptive parents had divorced and
relocated.
DeHaven said his next step was to search
the data bases for "current addresses
and names of other relatives we could call to
find Betsy." DeHaven found Betsy's
adoptive mother, whom Thompson called, and
who told her how to find Betsy who had been
living in New Orleans.
When Thompson reached Betsy, who had been
named Carolyn Elizabeth by her adoptive
parents, she told her mother she had also
tried to locate her throughout the years.
Thompson said she and her daughter
"talked on the phone every day,"
and finally decided it was time to meet.
Betsy flew from New Orleans to Tulsa,
arriving July 10.
Betsy's visit has been a very good one. So
good, in fact, she's decided to stay,
Thompson said.
"Betsy Jo is going to stay. She told
me, 'I don't want to leave you.' I told her,
if you try to leave, I'm going to cut your
legs off," Thompson said, laughing. She
continued, more seriously, "(Betsy)
say's she's sick of New Orleans. She likes
being here." Thompson said her daughter
is looking for a job, and an apartment, in
Coffeyville.
Thompson said, since their meeting, she
has called Betsy by her birth name, rather
than by her adopted name.
Mother and daughter are comfortable and
happy around each other, with Betsy helping
out with chores, and laughing and chatting
with her new familv, Thompson said. Her other
children also seem happy with their newfound
sister. Thompson is the mother of three grown
children, two stepehildren, and has adopted
two of her grandchildren, Cody, 6, and
Shanna, 4. Thompson described a time this
past week when her son, Daniel, called from
Germany, and, instead of talking to his
mother as usual, asked to talk to
"sis."
Thompson, who has missed so many birthdays
and Christmases with Betsy, recently
purchased a golden retriever puppy for her.
For Thompson, locating Betsy would have
been easier if Ohio, had an open record
policy; that is, the ability for anyone
adopted to access their original birth
certificate
Kansas is one of the few states in America
with an open record policy, but according to
Marley Elizabeth Greiner, executive chair of
"Bastard Nation",
the country's largest adoptee civil rights
organization, most of the United States does
not.
"As you may know, Kansas has never
sealed adoption records-- unlike the rest of
the U S., with the exception of Alaska, and
now Oregon. Kansas, in fact, is always used
as the model in arguments by proponents
regarding open records," Greiner said.
Greiner and DeHaven said that a major
battle on behalf of adoptees was won in
Oregon Friday. Measure 58 was passed, which
will allow open records in Oregon.
According to information about the measure
at the Bastard Nation's website, "Judge
Lipscomb (on Friday) upheld Measure 58,
saying the Oregon Constitution held no
promise of secrecy to women who gave their
children up for adoption. 'Plaintiffs have
failed to demonstrate either any contractual
right to absolute privacy or confidentiality,
or any impermissible impairment of any such
rights.'"
Greiner said the victory in Oregon could
be an impetus for change throughout the rest
of the United States.
"This victory in Oregon, coupled with
the resignation/retirement of Dr. William
Pierce, president of the National Council for
Adoption (the chief institutional opponent of
open records) heralds a new day for open
records for the U.S."
Thompson, meanwhile, is enjoying her time
with her daughter.
"It's been a big burden lifted off
me, that's for sure," she said, now that
her search has come to an end. "I can't
change the things my daughter has gone
through without me being there. I wish I
could. All you get to change is what happens
from here on out."
